Hairy Problems

Most of the tips I hold dear comes from experience.  Sometimes painful experience.  This is one of them.  Do not attempt to dye your own hair in the dark or when you’re half-asleep.  Especially don’t do it when both conditions exist.  Just don’t.

Trust me.

I am now a humble owner of hair that looks… um, more interesting than I had originally planned.

It all started with a week of toddler tantrums, fights between brothers, lots of whining and an overworked husband.  Now, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.  This is a normal week in my home.  🙂  But for some reason I needed more of a break to decompress and it just wasn’t happening.  And those stray grey hairs taunting me in the mirror didn’t help.  I really planned on dying my hair weeks earlier but alas, my applicator bottle went missing.  I completely blame that on the grumpy toddler.

Well, one bright day I actually found the bottle under a pile of toys and I thought to myself.  Today is the day!  I can finally cover my hair with chemicals in an attempt to pretend I’m younger!  As the day went on, I concocted a glorious plan.  Not only was I going to dye my hair,  I was going to pamper myself.  I was going to take… a bath.  Gasp!  A mother of young children just lying in a hot bath not doing anything?!  She would have to wait until after bedtime!  Yep, you’re right.  Which leads into one of the no-no’s of dying hair.  I was EXHAUSTED!!

If you’re so tired you actually consider going straight to bed after the kids are definitely not getting up, then you should just go to bed instead of dying your hair.  But I needed that bath.  It wasn’t just scrubbing myself clean.  It was about taking some precious moments to really enjoy relaxing.  So I set up the scene.  Started filling the tub with hot water.  Tuned my smartphone to my Pandora Coldplay station.  Turned off the lights except for one in my closet to set some great mood lighting for relaxation.  Grabbed a body scrub, a box of tissues (cause of course I’ve had the gunk for weeks) and a glass of water.  I was set.

I start to dye my hair while the tub was still filling.  I just needed to retouch my roots so it went quickly.  Got in the tub and I was feeling great.  Nice music, hot water and I”m finally getting my hair done.  It was so nice!  For the last 5 minutes, I put in the rest of my dye on the rest of my hair to refresh like the box instructed and then rinsed.  Feeling wholly rejuvenated, I didn’t really think much about how my hair looked.  I slept good that night.

The next day with my hair dry, it slowly dawned on me that something was off.  I don’t have much time during a day as sole parent to 3 boys to stare at myself in the mirror but every time I happened across my reflection I thought, what is wrong with my hair?!  I still wasn’t too worried.  We have horrible lighting in the bathrooms.  Then the hubby came home (said nothing about my hair) and I got ready to go to a church conference.  I finally had time to examine what I had done. Of course, this is in the final moments before going out to see lots of people I know…  There was definitely something wrong with my hair.  Where there was new growth, there was this strange reddish brown color.  The rest of my hair was patches of a mixture of colors: medium brown, slightly lighter brown with “warm” tones and the same strange red color as my roots.  Inside, I was mortified.  Outside, I was like, reverse ombre is hip, right?

NOT what my hair looks like

Fixing my hair will require money and skill of which, I sadly have neither apparently.  After a couple days I realized that only a professional would really be able to tell what a mess I’ve done in my dark bathroom while half asleep.  I think to the lay person my hair just looks obviously dyed, which is not what I was going for.  I prefer to look “naturally” beautiful.  😉  Of course, you can avoid all the pain if you just dye your hair while fully awake in a well-lit room…

PS:  Of course there are no pictures of my hair.  Is it because it really looks awful or cause I couldn’t get a decent picture of the damage I inflicted?  Hmm…


6 thoughts on “Hairy Problems

  1. If I may add, never ever do it when you’re hungover either. Not that I’m talking from experience, of course not… You will be too tired to rinse it out properly, and then drip drops of dark water all over the house. Since rinsing will be so exhausting you will not think to check out your “new” hair, and will only realise the next morning, when you’re going to work, that you look like Carrot Top.

  2. My favorite part of your blog was your description under jessica simpsons gorgeous hair. Didn’t we talk about this? You can’t lighten your roots bc they will lift more bc its virgin hair than the rest of your hair. You need to deposit the color w a 20vol on your roots. Overall, its fall and you should be darkening your hair not lightening it 🙂

    • But my hair before the first dye job was virgin hair too and it didn’t turn out this color! And I had to use what I had to avoid spending money. Supposedly a 30 volume lifts and deposits and works better to cover grey which is why I chose that in the first place, but what do I know…

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